Oh Venus was
born out of sea-foam
Oh Venus was
born out of brine
But the
goddess today if she is
grade A
Is assembled
upon the assembly line
(How divine!
Rise and shine!)
Upon the
assembly line!
Now Julie
was born as it’s proper
Her every
proportion was planned
She was
poured from a mold exquisite
and cold
And she grew
up untouched by human hand
(Oh how
grand! See her stand!)
Untouched by
human hands!
Her chromium
nerves and her platinum brain
Were
chastely encased in cellophane
And to top
off this daughter of science and art
She was
equipped with a prefabricated heart
She prepares
for life!
Shall I be
auburn or dark or fair?
Shall I
unbind my nylon hair?
Would love
make skies look clearer?
Or should I
serenade my mirror?
A hero would
always admire me
He’d pamper
and pet and inspire me
Why else
were my charms made so drastic?
Why else
were my arms made so plastic?
What else
was my heart electroplated for?
Oh, send me
the mate it was prefabricated for
Then just
like the movies, a mail-order male
Was sent by
the gods direct from Yale
He was
handsome with biceps of stainless steel
Plus which
he was rich, and his love for her was real
By fate he
was guided to knock at her door
‘Twas love
at first sight for evermore
They were
made for each other, exclusively planned
So he bent
his knee and he asked her for her hand
Her bridal
gown was a synthetic weave of coal tar, milk, and wood
Spun under
atomic pressure in a four-billion-dollar machine
I’ll offer
you sterilised flowers
Expensive
and scentless and rare
There’ll be
pedigree birds singing songs without words
As they fly
through the air-conditioned air
Your
fanciful dreams I’ll interpret for you
Your hidden
desires I will bring into view
All the
wheels in your brain I will polish and shine
To prove
they can move in harmony with mine
Oh, nature
and art will not win her
So ply her
with diamonds and pearls
For
bracelets and rings are practical things
That appeal
to the mind of a healthy girl
Oh, nature
and art will not win her
Oh ply her
with diamonds and pearls
For
bracelets and rings are practical things
That appeal
to the mind of a healthy girl
– Julie, at
last you’re mine
– I guess
– I’ve
always dreamed of this moment divine
– It will be
nice, unless
– Oh,
darling, let us seal our marital bliss
With a
glorious technicolour kiss
– I suppose
so
– You
express every ideal I’ve ever had
You’re as
evocative as a full-page ad
Tell me that
you care
– You’re
mussing my hair
– Oh,
darling
– Watch my
new clothes
– Beloved
– Oh, well,
I suppose
– Angel
– Don’t make
such a fuss
– Treasure
– Oh you’re
so impetuous!
– Dearest!
Sweetest! Queen!
– Oh, this
is ridiculous!
Sisters,
come to my aid!
Her Amazon
sisters were passing that way
They rushed
to her aid and they saved the day
The swine!
He has frightened her out of her wits
The brute!
We should shoot him and tear him into bits
Wheels
started turning inside her head
So from his
ardent arms she fled
Girls of wax
can’t use devotion
They might
melt if they felt an emotion
She left him
bereft and wifeless
And he fell
to the ground, quite lifeless
But she
rides on into the dawn
On and on as
her wheels revolve
A riddle
whose answer none can solve
Who sends
all her dreams to the laundry
Who prefers
to live in a quandary
Her
loneliness she must insist on
She’s Isolde
without a Tristan
Her groom
who for doom was slated
Dissolved
into tears and disintegrated
And so she
rides on through the evening
As pure as
she was at the start
For there’s
no man alive who could ever survive
A girl with
a prefabricated heart
A love-proof, unbreakable heart.
This moment is part of the film Dreams That Money Can Buy, 1947 written, produced, and directed by the surrealist artist and dada film-theorist Hans Richter. Collaborators included Max Ernst, Marcel Duchamp, Man Ray and Alexander Calder. The film won the Award for the Best Original Contribution to the Progress of Cinematography at the 1947 Venice Film Festival.
This moment is part of the film Dreams That Money Can Buy, 1947 written, produced, and directed by the surrealist artist and dada film-theorist Hans Richter. Collaborators included Max Ernst, Marcel Duchamp, Man Ray and Alexander Calder. The film won the Award for the Best Original Contribution to the Progress of Cinematography at the 1947 Venice Film Festival.
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